everythings coming up milhouse

So, here is what is on my mind at this moment, sports-wise. (I have other things on my mind, but you really, really don’t want to go there, my friend.)

The White Sox off-season ’struggles’: So, today on talk radio and in the papers, White Sox GM Kenny Williams is getting killed because the team’s two biggest off-season targets, Torii Hunter and Miguel Cabrera, were snatched away by American League rivals, including the division rival Tigers grabbing the awesome 24-year old third baseman/outfielder/professional hitter and pitcher Dontrelle Willis yesterday for a boatload of prospects. Critics say that Kenny has failed as a general manager and that he has done a poor job since the 2005 title. People want him out of town. Fans are throwing moltov cocktails through the already broken windows of the neighboring buildings around Comiskey part II.

Folks, lets break this down. The LA Angels spent a shitload of money for Torii Hunter. No one thought they were in the market for the centerfielder, it seemed to be between the Sox and Texas, and suddenly the Angels came out of nowhere and offered an additional year and 15 million more dollars a year. Reportedly, Hunter accepted the deal well before the Sox even had a chance to react. So what, exactly, did Williams do wrong here? He offered the player a more than generous and fair offer. It seemed Hunter was thrilled with the Sox and the city of Chicago, and it was a foregone conclusion that he would be roaming the outfield at the Cell for the next few years. Then, a team comes out of nowhere with a crazy deal which is too long and too expensive and the player accepts it. How exactly is Torii Hunter ending up in Anaheim a result of Kenny failing as a general manager?

So, lets go to the next issue: Miguel Cabrera. It was reported that the Sox were one of the two major teams in pursuit for the guy, along with the Detroit Tigers. The Marlins wanted a bunch of prospects, and if possible, wanted the team they were dealing with to also take Dontrelle Willis and his huge contract off their hands. In the end, the Tigers offered a solid package which included their top pitching and position player prospects and four other players. There was no way the White Sox could match this offer. So, Cabrera goes to Detroit. So, lets get this straight: Its Kenny’s fault that his organization doesn’t have a pitching prospect the caliber of Andrew Miller, a hitting prospect the quality of Cameron Maybin, and four other decent to solid young players. He was somehow supposed to force to make the Marlins take a lesser deal.

Sure, some might argue that its Kenny’s fault that the Sox’ minor league system didn’t have the assets to compete with the Tigers. Well, the two keys to the deal–Miller and Maybin–were drafted in the top 10 in 2005 and 2006. The reason the Tigers had those guys in their system? BECAUSE THEIR TEAM SUCKED DURING THE SAME YEAR(S) THAT THE WHITE SOX WON THE WORLD SERIES!!!! So, would we rather have the high draftees which ultimately bring a great young hitter in 2007, or a World Championship?

People, Kenny Williams was doubted by everyone in this town for the majority of his deals he’s made. Remember in 2004 when everyone hated his moves? How did they look in October of the following year? I’m not saying that this is all part of a master plan which will curry a title next season. What I am saying is that Williams should be granted plenty of leeway since he has built a title winner and plenty of other teams which contended well into September. He’s aggressive and will not allow this team to step onto the field in April without making more moves. Relax.

Fantasy football playoffs: So, the playoffs start this week in my major league. This league is worth a shitload of cash if I win three more games. My team is stacked, but as is the case with all fantasy football teams, that shit doesn’t matter because anyone can blow up like a suicide bomber in a given week.

This week, I have two lineup dilemmas. I know what I am going to do, but I’d like to put em out there to see what others think. First, at running back I am very deep, but the guy I want to start–Marshawn Lynch–may be a game-time decision. So that leaves me Edgerrin James and Ryan Grant. At first glance, to the untrained eye, it would seem James is the obvious choice. But Grant has been absolute beast the last four weeks, including three games of 19 or more points. Also, the Packers are playing the Raiders–the 30th ranked run defense in the league. Finally, Brett Favre is sure to be banged up after his injury Thursday. So perhaps the Pack relies on the run a little more than usual. So that is why I am going with Grant over Edge.

My other problem is at the wide receiver slot. I have to start three of the following four: Braylon Edwards, Chad Johnson, Andre Johnson, and Wes Welker. I am leaning towards the first three, obviously, but part of me really wants to start Welker against the Steelers. I have a sneaking suspicion that he will explode–sexually and fantasy wise–as Pittsburgh focuses on Randy Moss.

What do you mark-ass marks think?

• The Cubs will probably clinch their division this weekend. As a White Sox fan, this has been a pretty shitty year, but I still don’t wish any ill will towards the Cubs. Some of their fans do bother me, but as a whole, I think they should get to see their team win a title before they die. As a lifelong Chicagoan, it would be pretty cool to see what would happen around here if the Cubs won. I have a feeling it would be like when the Bears won the Super Bowl, multiplied by about 100. I think part of the reason it wouldn’t bother me as much is because of 2005. Its almost as if we, as Sox supporters, won the race. The Sox won the title first, and no matter what, nothing can take that away. But that doesn’t mean a possible title should be any less special for their fans; it just means a Cubs title before 2005 would be sickening to most Sox fans. Now, it would be fun to see. However, unlike last year’s Cardinals, I don’t see any way this Cubs team wins three playoff series and the championship.

I’ve never felt worse for a pro athlete than I do for Rex Grossman. He has been absolutely killed by fans and media. I wonder if he almost is glad he’s not the starter anymore. The best thing for him would be to sit on the sideline for the rest of the year, sign a free agent contract with someone next year, and start over with a clean slate. As a Rex backer, I had to admit while watching the Chiefs game that the time had come to make a move. Unfortunately, a quarterback change might not be enough to overcome a banged-up defense, pourous offensive line, and drop-happy receivers.

• I’ve been playing Madden 08 a lot lately. (Only about four people will relate to what I am about to write about, but I don’t care). When I play, I just play on franchise mode. For those who aren’t familiar, franchise mode is when you guide a team through season after season. Well, I have to play on the highest level, All-Madden. If I play on any other level, its way too easy. The problem is that the All-Madden level, in its efforts to make the game difficult, ruins all realism. For example, in 95 percent of the games you play against the computer, they make things happen to make the game close. I was playing the AFC Championship a week or so ago, and although I dominated the game thouroughly, I lost because the opposing team brought back 3 interceptions and 2 kicks for touchdowns. I lost 38-35. I mean, come on. A few days ago, I was playing the Rams and video Torry Holt caught a 5-yard pass over the middle, trucked 3 linebackers and linemen, and outran my entire defense for an 80-yard score. Look, I respect Torry Holt, but he’s not running over people. That kind of stuff happens all the time. These are games where the computer refuses to let you win, no matter what. Those games, which Bill Simmons calls the ‘No Freakin Way’ games, are when ridiculous things happen throughout the game (like 5 returns for TDs) so that you cannot have an undefeated season (which is a near impossibility on All-Madden mode). For instance, I was playing some team a little while ago and I had a two-point conversion to tie the game with like 30 seconds left. I called a play, but the computer defense had it scoped out perfectly. So I called an audible, making the tight end run an out route. He was wide open in the end zone to tie the game. Drops it. And you laugh, but why play the game if the computer is going to dramatically alter things just to make games close, ya know? At some point, no matter how good you are, it doesn’t matter because the computer is going to cheat you. Fuck him.

I have done no research on this but I have been seeing it on the internet. So if you are interested and live in Chicago I will let you do the research. If you find out it’s bogus. Let me know. While the White Sox vs. Royals may not be on the top of your list at least its free:
US Cellular phone stores are giving away tickets for the Kansas/Sox series for this week:

The following stores will have tickets beginning Tuesday Sept. 25:

- 30 N. LaSalle St., Chicago
- 3019 N. Clark St., Chicago
- 3200 N. Lincoln Ave., Chicago
- 7119 S. Cicero Ave., Chicago
- 800 W. Washington Blvd., Chicago
- 11227 W. Cermak Rd., Westchester, Ill.
- 2365 N. Fransworth Ave., Ste. 115, Aurora, Ill.
- 612 S. State Rt. 59, Naperville, Ill.
- 7500 Broadview Village Sq., Broadview, Ill.
- 9900 Joliet Rd., Countryside, Ill.
- 2340 E. Lincoln Hwy., Ste. 106, New Lenox, Ill.
- 15845 S. Harlem, Orland Park, Ill.
- 6318 W. 95 St., Oak Lawn, Ill.

So if you are looking to go to a game this week, go by or call one of the stores listed to see if they have any tickets left.